Orang Tue

We were having lunch.
Then came this old man.

"Pacik x bese ngn tempt ni. Ape best makan kt sini?"
"Nasi Goreng Thai. Tapi pedas sket la"
"Bape sen?"
"Tatau ar pacik. Kene tanye die ni" (pointing towards the waiter)
"Bape sen?"
... (The waiter x phm. Probably he's from India and just learned a few Malay words)

FYI we're at mamak :)

"Bape ringgit?"
"Ampat setenga"

Suddenly the pacik took a friend's dunhill box.

"Kenape u nk smoke ni? It's not good for you. U know y?"
(geleng)
"Because if u smoke Dunhill, u will go down the hill. Dunhill=Down hill. Get me? U shud smoke Marlboro (take out his). U know y? Marlboro is Men Are Romancing L.. B.. O.. R.. O... (I cant remember the rest of the term :P ) Women will go to u when u smoke Marlboro. Ha! ur fren is smoking Marlboro, and a woman is sitting next to him. U pulak duduk sebelah hujung sini next to a man"

We laughed at the fren who smoke Dunhill.

Then we laughed a bit to the 'joke' and the pacik blah.

After a while, he came back.

" U know who am I?"
(everyone look at each other, trying to guess)
"I am .....( He mentioned one name, but I cant remember)
"u know who he is?"
"the richest man in the world?"

Suddenly he started to sing this English song which Im not familiar with but it sounded like music from the 60s. And his voice was not bad.

"Itu orang putih. Kalau melayu, orang panggil pacik, P.Ramlee"

Then he sang one P.Ramlee song. But he changed the lyric a bit.

"Anakku Saloma dgr la" (sambil points at me and another female fren :|)

The lyrics goes something like, Saloma shud take care of P.Ramlee.

"Pacik panggil perempuan Saloma. Lelaki, P.Ramlee. Perempuan kene jage ur hasben elok2." (And continued mumbling about taking care of each other)

Suddenly, while the pacik was still 'preaching', 2 women passed by. And the pacik simply call them Saloma, asking where were they going, have they been good to their P.Ramlee...Those women look at the pacik, and walked away. Then the pacik continued his speech. Then he blah.
We were so confused, not sure whether to laugh at the pacik, or to agree with what he said or to just ignore the pacik the next time he came back. He dressed handsomely, with tie and iron-ed slacks so probably he is still sane. Oh yeah! He mentioned about not being stress yadayada.. So we assumed that he was probably stressed up and wanted to let the stress out and picked us as the 'mangse'. Scary huh? Let's just hope he didnt turn out again tomorrow.